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autumnemostar @ 2007-12-19T13:59:00

2007-12-19T19:04:05Z

autumnemostar @ 2007-11-22T11:04:00

2007-11-22T16:04:41Z

autumnemostar @ 2007-11-15T09:34:00

2007-11-15T14:35:01Z

i just heard less than jake on regis & kelly.

wow.

autumnemostar @ 2007-10-12T20:26:00

2007-10-13T00:31:52Z

HEY! i graduate october 26th. that is TWO WEEKS away! i can't believe it. this is the best month ever.

in addition to graduating,
-i am tied for the highest average overall with 1 other girl
-i started the month off camping at allegany with rob
-i am employee of the month
-the cooler weather finally is here
-i am going to the sabres game tomorrow!

work asked me to work as a graduate nurse today. i said no. another place called to see if i wanted to work as a grad nurse, but i haven't called them back. i am going to keep my position at work for a month, until i take and pass my boards, and THEN apply for jobs. exciting!

autumnemostar @ 2007-07-18T18:55:00

2007-07-18T23:03:52Z

hey pals. i know no one really updates their livejournals anymore, but i still check them almost every day. i hope your summer is going very well! i am in school. yes, for the whole summer. yes, it does suck. however, come october i will actually finish something i started.

currently, i am at ECMC for clinical. i do not like it at all, but i have to get through it so i will. i've been to 2 beaches, 1 lawn fete, and 1 80s night. i saw hit n run play twice. i saw less than jake and fell in love with life again. i spend nights writing care plans and studying really disgusting disorders that i forget a week after i learn them.

i still really like to bake/cook and i have become obsessed with wraps. veggie, tuna, chicken finger.. it doesn't matter. i also bake a cherry crisp so good it would make you weep. i try to work out to deal with my stress and lately it has been working. i have wonderful workout dvds by george foreman. yes, i'm serious. they make me sweat and sore and i like it. also sometimes i take long walks at the park. sunglasses, headphones, fast walks. no one approaches me and i like it. i wish i had the whole park to myself.

i can't believe i am twenty four. i really liked being 19. sometimes i am scared the best time of my life has already passed. but ask me how i feel in a couple years, when i am in a cute apartment and i can bake cookies while listening to saves the day and drinking a mike's in my underwear. i bet i'll love life.

autumnemostar @ 2007-01-16T13:53:00

2007-01-16T18:54:11Z

autumnemostar @ 2007-01-08T20:47:00

2007-01-09T01:56:26Z

on mondays and tuesdays i go to the erie county home to do clinical. today was my third day. i don't particularly like it, but it will get better. i think.

on wednesdays and thursdays i have lecture at potter road in west seneca. i have tests every week. i usually do very well because i study very hard. but that is what is expected, needed, and the norm there. it isn't like college, where half of the kids are slacking off and don't even want to be there or know what they want to do. it's preparing for a real career that is looming in the near future.

i still work part-time at greenfield's. still like it, most of the time. still broke most of the time as well.

rob and i are going to south carolina this spring break with his family. we didn't get to go last year. i am excited and happy. april 6th cannot come soon enough.

i have been appreciating old rilo kiley cds and semi-new death cab cds a lot lately. i also appreciate mustard, mushrooms, frozen banana slices, and garlic. but not all together.

if you have a bad cold you are not alone. if you do not have one and have not just gotten over one, you will get one soon. fluids! zinc!

my hair is getting long. i like ponytails.
but sometimes, lately, i catch a glance at myself and i am completely, 100%, disgusted at my reflection.

iud is out. continuous birth control is back on. hello to having only 4 periods a year. get on it, girls.

2007 is the year that i will graduate nursing school, pass my boards, and get a real full time job.
so here i am, grown up at twenty three.

autumnemostar @ 2006-11-03T19:03:00

2006-11-03T23:03:27Z

listen. i know this pic is old and everyone has seen it. but when i look at connor in this picture i want to swallow him whole. i want to wrap him around my waist and wear him as a belt. he is looking right at me, like we're on a date.

ohhhhhhhhh goodness. i'd break that boy.

how to make your own cleaner

2006-10-25T20:57:49Z

since commercial cleaners can be quite expensive and harmful for the environment and/or your skin or lungs, i decided to look for a recipe to make my own. if you're a nerd like me and want to give it a try, this is what you need:

-1 tsp of washing soda
-4 tsp of borax
-1 tsp of liquid soap or detergent
-4 cups hot water
-about 10 drops of essential oil of your choice (optional -- i used tangerine)
-clean empty spray bottle

combine all ingredients into spray bottle and gently shake until combined. also shake before using after extended storage.

it is streaky on mirrors but has cleaned most of my computer, outside of fish tank, desk, sink, and lamps. already! i'm sure i'll use it on other things. the streaks on the mirror aren't even that bad, but i'll be on the lookout on how to improve it.

making things for yourself feels really good.

websites

2006-10-25T02:20:11Z

hi all! i was driving around today (buying THE CUTEST dinnerware sets -- purple and black and you are all invited to a dinner party on oct 24th 2008 - it's a friday) and i thought about doing a post with websites i like to occupy my time with. so here are some!

http://buffalo.craigslist.org/
-i like to look at apartments, free stuff, furniture for sale, and lots of the personals.

http://allrecipes.com/
-lots of good recipes, easy to follow for people learning to cook.

http://www.kitchencollection.com/
-cheap things for the kitchen, i'm a housewife.

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/livejournal-pictures.php
-GREAT site with random pics ppl post to the LJ's. tons of fun for hours.

http://songmeanings.net/
-i love to look at lyrics. .love it.

http://www.gasbuddy.com/
-don't drive around looking for the cheapest gas. know before you go!

http://www.pandora.com/
-this is a GREAT SITE that has streaming music. you put in band or song you like and they play similiar bands or songs. try it, you'll like it.

http://www.stretcher.com/index.cfm
-tips on how to save money, which we all need to do.

http://www.explodingdog.com/
-fun, beautiful "comics". some are really sad so i don't know if i can call them comics.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page
-very fun to look things up on! they have everything on here!!

so. what sites do you waste time on?

autumnemostar @ 2006-10-24T00:03:00

2006-10-24T04:04:15Z

my goldfish had the longest poop i've ever seen so i wanted to take a picture of it to show rob, and right as i snapped it, the little fish came up and sampled the delicious treat. it's so fucking funny and great and i hope you like it too.

iud torture

2006-10-19T22:45:52Z

today i got my IUD inserted and it was probably the most painful thing i have ever experienced in my entire life. i don't even know how to describe it. but the awful thing is that the insertion wasn't even the worst part. if you're into pain read on. this is going to be graphic.

first of all, you have to have your period in order to get the IUD inserted in the first place. so you go into the doctor's office and feel disgusting that someone other than yourself has to deal with the joy that is your menstruation.

then, the doctor unwraps the "kit". which is wrapped up like a christmas gift with blue fabric and printed tape. it's quite pretty. it is designed to make you think it won't be so bad. but it is, ohhh it is.

"i'm just going to have to clean your cervix and measure your uterus", the doctor says. ok, this wouldn't sound so scary if your cervix and uterus weren't in your fucking body tucked away from the light of day. you need to don a spelunker's hat, with the light turned on full force, to get to these womanly parts.

the pain begins with a cold speculum poking you in all the wrong places... err.. are there any right places to be poked with cold metal? why don't they knock you out before they do this shit!? i don't know the names of the ancient looking metal things they use to put this 2-inch torture device inside of your uterus, but i know they were designed purely to make me cry and whimper in pain.

"you're going to feel a little pinch".. A PINCH? mother fucker, i can deal with pinches. this was no pinch, this was a full body beat down. i twitched, i gasped, i gritted my teeth. imagine something hurting you've hardly felt before. deep inside your abdomen, a sharp pain that lingers for far too long. i wanted to yell 'STOP, STOP GET IT OUT PLEASE' but i just closed my eyes and grabbed at my stomach, arms, anything i could find.

ok, it's over. breathe. instructions to take motrin for 2 days, make an appt next month to get checked. whew. put on an old lady bulky pad. get up, walk to mom in the waiting room.

and then it began.

tingles all over my body. sweating. a weak, sickening feeling. nausea. i felt like i was going to 1) pass out 2) throw up 3) lose control of all body functions. yes, all of them.

i was in a full body, dripping sweat within 3 minutes after leaving the exam room. my mom was talking in her loud voice "are you ok, maybe we should go back? this isn't normal. what did she tell you? WHAT DID SHE TELL YOU?" ughhhh. i don't know what to do. i feel the worst ever.

we go back.

i need to use the bathroom, and now.

i am in there, sweating all over the place, dizzy, using the fucking bathroom. someone knocks 'are you ok?'. you are all going to laugh and say "TOO MUCH INFORMATION KIM", but i needed to tell her what i was doing. so i say 'erhm.. i'm having a bm'. EMBARRASING. oh my god, i just told someone i am pooping. i am pooping, my uterus is having a war, my hair is soaked with sweat, and i'm afraid i'll pass out like this. on the toilet, covered in sweat.

i manage to get out. i lay down, panicked on an exam table. "you're having a vasovagal reaction".. what?! what is that!? i can't speak. i'm too fucked up. juice is given to me, asprin, cold washcloths on my head and neck. 20 minutes later, and i'm feeling better.

now i have to walk out in front of 10+ people in the waiting room, with makeup smeared down my face, hair that looks like i just got out of the shower, and my pants falling down because i don't want to button them up.

naps, candy bars, heating pads, 400 mg of ibuprofren every 4 hours. i'm better, but holy cow the cramps are still here. it must get better than this. it has to, or i'll rip the thing out myself.

i hope you laughed a little while reading this, because even though it was probably the most embarrasing and painful thing i have experienced, i can still find the humor in it!

housewife rock city

2006-10-03T18:26:59Z

you'll all make fun of me for posting this, but it's such an amazing deal and if you're not moved out now, you will be soon... and you'll need something to cook with.

http://www.kitchencollection.com/Temp_Products.cfm?sku=00337111&RankThis=Y&Searched=Indoor%20Grill&

if you enter the promo code HBI20 you'll get even more off. with tax & shipping this grill came to 21.59. super good deal and big enough to actually make real meals on.

autumnemostar @ 2006-10-01T01:08:00

2006-10-01T05:09:43Z

i went to the sabres game with kristen. we won 4-2. we saw 2 fights, gloves off.

i hit some concrete and my headlight came off. uhhh...

autumnemostar @ 2006-09-04T23:47:00

2006-09-05T03:48:00Z

A. my fish tank, which has been a source of joy and misery for me for a couple years. the fish in there are black moors, but they are so old they lost all of their color and now they are orange! one time last year i woke up and my tank was half empty. the seam on the glass had developed a break and the water leaked all over my floor. jacob sold me his tank thankfully. another time, i had to do fish surgery when one of the little guys was choking on a piece of gravel.

B. my work sneakers which i hate wearing because they are so ugly; but i'm on my feet for the whole day and they have decent support. not excting.

C. my fucking cat scratches the door frame no matter what we do! it looks awful and trashy and poor.

D. VESPA. enough said <3

E. pictures of me and rob. actually i have about 8927428 pics of us all over my room. the one on the left is me & him with his little neice, the next is from a couple xmas's ago at my sister's house.

F. i love my calendar. i am crazy organized. i write work hours, test dates, pay days, birthdays on it. i also use stickers and colored markers.

G. old buick ad. old ads are like artwork! buick has always been a classy car company. i got this one from ebay and prompty framed it.

H. benzyol peroxide 2.5% and oil of olay sensitive skin spf 15 lotion; finally clearing my skin after some weird mid-20s hormone surge. www.acne.org has an amazing regimine!!

I. best idea ever to be organized and save space. pegged hook i painted green. i hang scissors, necklaces, keys, headbands.

J. family guy.

K. an old sherbet container that was my uncle tommy's; he used it to keep pennies in and now so do i. when he died, my mom gave the pennies to me and i kept the container and probably always will.

autumnemostar @ 2006-08-23T00:10:00

2006-08-23T04:10:49Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-zCZshnyTo

autumnemostar @ 2006-08-22T23:46:00

2006-08-23T03:47:13Z

student loan companies???

2006-08-22T13:23:42Z

System
Initial Question/Comment: I recently send in a form for in-school deferment.Can you tell me if the form was received and when my next payment is?
9:15:04 AM

Hong Tam L.
Hello, my name is Hong and I will be assisting you today.
9:15:18 AM

You
Hello
9:15:20 AM

Hong Tam L.
Kim, when did you send or fax it in?
9:16:48 AM

You
on august 7th, i believe
9:17:22 AM

Hong Tam L.
I am not showing that we received it
9:17:56 AM

You
My due date has been changed to reflect the date i will be finished with my program, november 2007. but the status still says repayment.
9:18:01 AM

Hong Tam L.
Your loans are still in the repayment status, with a payment due on 11/8/07
9:18:48 AM

Hong Tam L.
Kim, please disregard what I just said
9:19:07 AM

Hong Tam L.
It looks like we received and processed it, however we just have not updated your repayment status
9:19:17 AM

You
oh! okay.
9:19:27 AM

this is probably not funny to anyone but me.

autumnemostar @ 2006-08-20T21:54:00

2006-08-21T01:56:27Z

today i finally got soup crocks.

rob and i went to amvets. i found two, expressed my sadness for there not being four.
"enough for me and you!"

(he knows i eat it up!)

autumnemostar @ 2006-08-19T22:09:00

2006-08-20T02:11:25Z

i don't even remember looking like this! ever!

concerning bingo.

2006-08-16T01:33:07Z

auxstasia: motherfuckercocksucker

Cananopie: maybe next time baby!

auxstasia: i get a bingo hangover

auxstasia: this is why

auxstasia: when i get excited.. when i have two, then one left.. chemicals are released in my body. neurotransmitters and hormones start swimming around and making my heart RACE. i can feel it in every inch of my body. my hands shake. i hear my heart beat in my ears.

Cananopie: who is a gambling addict?

auxstasia: one away. call my number! one to win! 500 dollars! oh god please let me win. jesus christ jesus christ MONEY!

auxstasia: then they dont call it. they call someone else's number.

auxstasia: those hormones were going to help me scream BINGO at the top of my lungs. to smile, to breathe to laugh. now they have nowhere to go. nothing to do.

auxstasia: so i get bingo hangover.

autumnemostar @ 2006-08-11T23:05:00

2006-08-12T03:05:48Z

OH!

my hair stopped falling out.

thank god.

i switched birth controls to one that would keep my testosterone in check!!

65 degrees is the bee's knees.

2006-08-12T03:02:38Z

even though eating ice cream makes my stomach explode from the inside out, i cannot bring myself to refrain from gobbling it up in incredibly obsene quantities. glutton. masochist.

anyway, hello friends. i hope your summer is going well. i hope you are not working too much. i hope that on your days off there is a good mix of sleeping in and waking up early to do fun things. don't sleep your summer away.

what have i been doing? well for the past couple of months i have been working more. nothing crazy; about 4 days a week. i didn't like it only because i was working both 1st and 2nd shifts and sometimes the sleeping arrangement was harsh. it's pretty much back to normal now and i am enjoying the time off, but will miss the money. especially because i have to pay back my student loans for a few months til nursing school starts.

i have been to zoar valley 3 times so far this summer. it is one of my favorite places on earth (so far). it is a lovely drive, a decent hike, a refreshing swim, and a beautiful place to feel all sorts of things. when i am in nature like that, i feel really comfortable with myself. even when i fall on my ass, get eaten alive by bugs, and nearly get swallowed by a fast current. please watch my video from zoar valley here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6yYZ6rpCJU

there was about a month stretch that i was working out every single day, but i have since become very lazy once again. i really need to make a commitment to my health. i need to be strong and healthy to survive my chose career of nursing!!

rob's birthday was yesterday. we had dinner with his family and spent some quiet time together. rob has been reading CATCH 22 to me this summer. i could never get into it myself, but hearing him do all sorts of voices and explaining things to me that i don't understand is making all the difference. there have been two times, recently, that i realized how much rob loves me. they may not seem like ground breaking romantic things to you, but they are to me. one was when i needed directions to zoar valley and rob spent over 30 minutes explaining it to me, and kept cool and calm even when i started to whine about how long it was taking. he KNOWS i have no sense of direction and need very specific instructions. he also knows i get impatient, but he stuck it out and i am thankful for that. two is about a week ago, i was instensely annoyed at life for some reason... everything i or rob did made me whine or get mad or want to cry. hormones????? rob didn't get upset, AT ALL. in fact he tried everything he could to make me comfortable and happy. i really didn't deserve it that day! finally, some ice cream and a fan blowing on me calmed me down. sorry for the "i love rob" gush.. but i am feeling really really confident, happy, and soooo satisfied with us lately.

lately i am addicted to youtube, onlineshoes.com, searching allrecipes.com for yummy things to cook and bake, and sticking to a budget. i also like to set my alarm early on my days off so i can make omlettes and watch the view. (i hate that i love the view)

even though i adore this summer, i still cannot wait for fall. love love LOVE new york autumns. xo

autumnemostar @ 2006-06-15T20:52:00

2006-06-16T01:05:27Z

lately i have been doing things like waking and riding my bike at various nature areas around WNY. today i got a disgusting quarter-sized blister on the bottom of my foot. ouch. however, i enjoy being outdoors so i will continue to do this.

my hair has been falling out - a lot - and i went to the dr. for some blood tests. everything seemed okay though, so if this continues, i have to go to a dermatologist before i go bald. this is scary and awful and i hope it stops soon.

my allergies are awful this summer, even with zyrtec. snowstorms of pollen and itchy, burning eyes.

i will be working a lot more in the upcoming months and this is both good and bad. mostly bad because all the extra shifts are on 2nd shift which i dislike more than a blister on the bottom of my foot. going into work at 3 means doing nothing with my day unless i wake up at like 7am. yeah, i need money to pay off my $900 credit card (which i pay every single month (twice!) but never seems to go down), but i'd rather be making my little $50 payments and having days to do nothing but laundry and shopping than paying off my whole bill this summer and never having sunny summer days.

so far this summer i have learned i LOVE pineapple and yams and pria bars.

rob is in boston for a few days & when he calls me to chat it feels exciting and great! this past weekend marks 4 years since we started dating. can you believe it!

sorry i haven't been to the bbqs yet. lately i have been feeling like a big loner. it is related to the fact that my hair is thinning at a ridiculous speed and my clothes all fit improperly.

autumnemostar @ 2006-04-09T19:44:00

2006-04-09T23:44:10Z